"And the Lord said unto satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thy hand. So satan went forth from the presence of the Lord."
 Job 1:12


It's happened many a times over the years to me in my dreams. I get this feeling of darkness come over me, and I try to shout for Jesus & my mouth will either turn to squishy jello so that I can't talk, or "Dark" (as I like to call the dark figures) just muzzles it everytime I try to shout out the name of Jesus. It's literally the feeling that someone has their hand over my mouth. In the past, it has scared me, and I've woke up in sweat, tears, and just plain feeling totally disoriented. I've always ended up being able to call on Jesus' name, but it is always a struggle before the nightmare is over. Last night's visit was a little different then all the other times though.  Dark came & tried to scare me in my dream again. I don't know what the dream was about. I only remember that I was walking, and Dark tried to scare me by using the surprise tactic. It literally jumped in my face, short of saying "BOO!" to scare me. I didn't panic this time though. I wasn't even scared, not even a little... I wasn't even startled by the "surprise" tactic. (And I knew right when it showed up that it was the same familiar, evil spirits that have taunted me in my dreams before.)

I simply stopped walking right in my tracks. I looked it straight in the "face", and I started LAUGHING. It wasn't just any laugh either. It was a deep down in my tummy ache kinda' laugh. I simply found it absolutely amusing that Dark tried to scare me. And it just stared back at me, quite taken with my response. Dark seemed confused, with a shocked & defeated look on its "face." For a change, Dark didn't know how to react to ME. For a change, Dark's sly attempt to creep up on me unexpectedly & rattle my soul was an epic fail.

When I was done laughing, I said, "I rebuke you"... and at that moment, Dark tried to muzzle my mouth again, like it had done so many times in the past. But it didn't work this time. I just pushed passed the muzzle, and yelled so loud, "I rebuke you in Jesus name!" that I literally said it out loud, and literally woke myself up mid sentence, in just enough time to hear myself yelling it out loud. I wasn't crying when I woke up. I wasn't sweating or scared, not one bit. I was in total peace, and quite smug about it, to say the least... so I closed my eyes, said a quiet thank you to Jesus, and went back to sleep, peacefully...

Last night was a defining moment in my walk with God. Nevermind the years of anguish that are behind me! Nevermind the unknown future that's ahead of me! Nevermind those spirits who have taunted me since I was a little girl, showing themselves in dreams and visions, showing themselves in this world & the people around me...something changed forever in that moment of laughter. Dark will never be able to shake me again.

Maybe I laughed at Dark because I've seen it so many times before, that it's become laughable that Dark thinks it can still scare me. Maybe I laughed because Dark looked so pitiful trying to scare me with its surprise tactic... almost as if it were cute, the way my 2 year old would be cute if he had tried to scare me in the same way.

I know though, that Dark can never scare me again. I remember as a child, "stomping" on the devil, by stomping my feet on the ground, and proclaiming that I was stomping on the devil. It was an act of innocence & "pretending" as a child. But now... now it's just real. Dark has no power over me. Maybe Dark is a cute 2 year old, next to the super strong tower I call my God... who, resides, in me.

I'm not afraid of you anymore Dark. Your evil shadows linger in this world, I know. You tear people down, you tear their worlds a part, their families, their lives... and you've even been known to assist them in their suicide. I've heard your stories from others before... I know I'm not the only one you've taunted out there. But you've been harrassing me for as far back as I can remember. I must be something special, because you've invested an awful lot of time into me.

You can't touch me. You've never been able to touch me. You can't scare me anymore... I'll laugh in your face. This world you devour can't have me. I won't dress like it. I won't talk like it. I won't think like it. I won't live like it. I won't die like it. I'm not yours to have. I never have been.

 People look at me and think that my "religion" makes me follow a bunch of rules to be a part of it. I look at people and think that this world makes them follow a bunch of rules to be a part of it. I'm not following any man's rules. I'm just the spitting image of my Father, like any child. And this world, this world that is being led around like puppets on a string as they live in darkness & their lives are torn a part & being taken away...  is the spitting image of Dark.

Dark can't have us all. Because we all have a choice. And God's mercy is greater than the shadows who linger in this world. He's coming ... he's scooping up his people, and Dark, you just can't do anything about it. There aren't enough demons in hell to overpower the power that's in me. There never will be. There never was. He's always been with me. He's been in me since I asked Him in as a little girl, and He's never left.

I'm pushing through your barriers at the speed of sound now, and Dark, you just can't stop me. You will never be able to stop me. Your attempts are laughable. You're nothing. Nothing. Nothing. You're nothing.



 
Picture
Have you ever wondered why the groom lifts his bride's veil towards the end of the ceremony, right before the big kiss? (And sometimes her Father lifts it before handing her over. It can vary.) 


It is such a common tradition that most people don't even acknowledge it anymore. It's practiced. But it's not acknowledged. It's just something that people do... but let's venture into WHY it's done. 


In Judaism (ancient) the veil wasn't even lifted until right before the couple consummated the marriage. It symbolized the couple becoming one flesh. Today, the unveiling in the ceremony is a symbol and foreshadowing of what will take place on the "honeymoon." 


Lifting the veil isn't just a tradition. It's a significant symbol of becoming one. Since ancient times veils have been used to separate something from another, and to symbolize the use of that person's or objects personal space. 


In Genesis 24, Rebekah didn't wear a veil until right before she knew she was going to see Isaac face to face. Perhaps she was following tradition in the same manner we still do today. But I believe there is something to be learned from this seemingly small and insignificant verse (24:65.) She put a "wall" or separation between herself and her soon to be husband. She acknowledged the separation between herself and Isaac because they hadn't yet become one. 


I think of sin as a veil between ourselves and God. And the very moment He took His last breathe on the cross, for our sins, He tore the veil hanging in the tabernacle in the wilderness. Sin was no longer allowed to separate us from Him! But just like a bride on her wedding day we still have to walk down that aisle. We have to walk through the entry where the veil was tore, into the presence of God, to become one with Him. (This is where Acts 2:38 becomes significant in your salvation.)


He has already removed the veil for us. But some of us still try to put it back on. We live in sin and try to cover ourselves from God behind a veil. We put a wall there because we feel like a failure as a Christian, and that's how sin separates us from God. 


But let me reiterate... HE HAS ALREADY REMOVED THE VEIL FOR US. His mercy says, "Come on in!" Why do we have to let the devil make us believe that we're not worthy enough to enter that tabernacle? Why do we allow the devil to keep putting our veil back on? God already took it off. 


Walk boldly into His presence! Never put that veil back on. Die daily, and trust in His love and mercy.


(Photo borrowed from flicker. Click photo to go to its author.) 
 
"I want to be beautiful" the little girl said to God one night at bedtime prayer. 

The little girl danced in front of the mirror in heels that didn't fit and Mama's Sunday hat... "I want to be beautiful" she sang.

Little eyes flipped through magazine images while she waited with Mama in the doctor's office for her check-up. "I want to be beautiful" she thought. 

...The young lady stood in front of the mirror examining her new curves... "I wish I were beautiful" she said to herself.  

One night in a dream she heard a voice say, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised....

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come...

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness...

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all...

Hear me my daughter this eve'... wake up and be beautiful."



 
Picture
There's nothing like the peace of God when you're a mother of six!

Last night I babysat two babies, 2 & under. And for the past few days, I've also been taking care of a 5 month old baby to help out his Mom.
 
And if that doesn't paint a picture for you, pencil in my 1 year old twins, and also my 5, 7,8, and 10 year old. (Though, on this particular evening the 7 & 8 year old were spending the night elsewhere.) I
still had 7 kids, even with two of them gone. 

In the midst of the chaos, my husband said, "I don't know how you do this." I knew he was referring to chaos. In this particular scenerio, two 5 month old babies crying, two twins running around who need a "dwink" & want mommy to hold them (with one baby already on my chest in a moby wrap & another in my arms,) a 5 year old who's still hungry & whining, an adorable two year old who only speaks "monkey" and I can't figure out a thing he needs... (heehee, really!)... etc, etc.

 
And I thought to myself, "What chaos?"

That was the defining moment I realized that I'd been given a very divine gift of true peace from God. 

Is there such a thing? And why do some people seem to have this gift & others don't?

First of all, let's see what the Word says about peace. Scripture is a very important tool to apply to our lives. It's not something you should skim over or just ignore all together. The Word is a manual for living our lives. It's important to always read the instructions before attempting to put it together yourself! (To name just a few scriptures on peace:)  

Psalms 29:11 says, "The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace."

Psalms 119:165,  
"Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them."

Isaiah 32:17
"And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever."

Isaiah 54:13
"And all thy children [shall be] taught of the LORD; and great [shall be] the peace of thy children."

Mark 4:39
"And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm."

Romans 8:6
"For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace. "


Phil 4:7-9
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."

And this one really brings it home:
Luke 8:48
"And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace."


My WHAT has made me WHOLE?! FAITH makes us WHOLE, and when we are WHOLE.... there is... PEACE.

Why do some people have this gift of peace? Because they have true faith, which makes them whole. To have true faith, one must WALK in that faith, everyday. True faith isn't a building you go visit every Sunday.

True faith is waking up every morning with Jesus on your mind...waking up and talking to him.

True faith lives in holiness according to His Word, and studies His Word so that it can imprint itself on the heart. 

True faith desires to and sets themselves a part from the carnal world.

True faith believes in the power of prayer, intercession, and carries a burden for other souls.

True faith stumbles, but gets up, dusts themselves off, and keeps marching on.

This faith makes a person whole. If you're not whole in your life reasses your faith. When you've found what you're lacking in faith, DIVE right into it and never look back! When you're whole inside and
out, the divine peace of God can't help but consume your life. 

Maybe you do walk in faith & find yourself needing some peace.  So you're still wondering why you are experiencing this lack of peace. I have two things to say about it: Tell the devil to shut up! And go back to His Word and hold him to it! He's a man of His Word! So pray the Word and scriptures of peace into your life today!

When my home is full of chaos... crying babies, arguing siblings, tattling, whining... LIFE, it does not consume me.

I have a peace inside me that says, "Deal with one issue at a time. Stay calm. Prioritize (Feed crying babies first, etc.) Praise them continually. Correct them with love. Pick your battles. Use your inside voice. Don't forget to breathe!"

That peace makes every bit of chaotic, rambunctious craziness in my life the most beautiful gifts in life, to me. I can look at the chaos and smile. I can look at it and say, "Wow. Life sure is beautiful. He sure has blessed me!"

I'm not perfect. There's no question about that. But I get up everyday and try. I get up everyday and march on. And God gives me peace.  

I'm not just a housewife or a Mom. I'm a T.I. training soldiers! And when it gets dark outside, when my little soldiers are sound asleep in their beds, and the tick tock sound of the clock is deafening... I talk to God.

I also spend time chasing my dreams and thinking about my goals, needs, and desires. I find that they are always "What ever you want me to do Lord, here I am" kind of goals. But they're mine. Because my desire and passion is to serve Him. I serve Him by also serving others.

I do my best to follow the path He guides me down, and I never forget to stop and watch the butterflies. Because those butterflies are His little sprinkles of peace upon my soul. I absorb every drop. And I march on... in peace. Amen.
 
Picture
That's Me

My hands are my voice but I'm not deaf.
I'm shy and withdrawn unless I know you well.
Words do not flow easily through my mouth.
I don't do well in a crowd.

My hair is my conviction and glory.
My hips have carried my heart 5 times and harbored 6.
I'm stubborn and pushy.
But I'm compassionate and understanding.

Sometimes I'm spiteful but I don't tell lies.
I'm not a Christian, but a sinner who strives to be like Christ.
I make a lot of mistakes but I learn from them as well.
I'm weak and unworthy; I'm strong and fearless.

I'm an open book if you know which page to find me.
I'm a mystery novel if you don't have time to look.
I'm bold and I'm scared.
I'm spontaneous but logical.

I'm affectionate and excited inside.
But I'm cursed with being reserved.
I'd like to show what's inside.
But I forgot how. I'm not sure if I ever even knew.

I believe a tamed but ambitious heart is simply wisdom.
I believe an untamed heart still has a lot to learn.
I cannot understand where anyone finds pride in that.
My pride is in my wisdom and grace.

I believe to respect your spouse is not demeaning.
I believe it's a reflection of your own self worth instead.
I believe in myself although I don't always meet my expectations.
I also believe in mind over matter when there is a will.

I view the world through the eye of my camera lense.
God is the one with the talent. I just try to capture it.
Although I could never begin to do his work justice.
My eyes see the world inside its frame even when my camera is out of reach.

I don't need glory or fame before I die.
I only need to know that I somehow managed to stumble...
to stumble on God's will, wherever that may be, before I die.
Crawling, walking, climbing, running... I don't really care how I get there.

I'm a constant work in progress.
I think it's funny that people call Christians a hypocrite when they see them doing wrong.
But they call them out for being "holier than thou" when they see them doing right.
I choose not to be identified by my religion, but by my God instead.

I'm self-conscious about myself, inside and out.
I trust easy because everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.
I don't cry in sad movies.
But I cry when I watch the news.

It took me months just to write this.
Because I am still learning who me is.
I will never stop learning that because I will always grow.
Yep. That's me.
 
Is it my curly hair that flutters below my waist
Is it my skirt that drags the pavement
Or my smooth uncovered face...

The curl in my hips that sway with each step
The way I cross my ankles when I sit

No cleavage you'll see
No fine jewels dangling from my ears

My voice is meek but my message is loud
My heart is tamed but my ambition is endless
Humble... I am humble

Does my tongue frighten you
Fear not, it is only the Lord moving through my soul
I am under the influence of the Holy Ghost... the Holy Ghost
Don't tell me this isn't real

"I once was lost... but now I'm found"
I once was lost... and in sin I was bound
But now I'm free
Don't tell me this isn't real

Don't tell me I have too many rules
Don't you dare take my sacrifice from me
Don't you take my worship from the Lord
My body belongs to Him, every curve, every step I take...

What is it about me you find so intriquing
What is it about me so different from you

Do you see that...
It's a reflection of my soul you see, when you look at me
So let me show you the God who resides in my heart...when you look at me

He shines through my eyes
He shines through the curl in my hips
He shines through my uncovered face
He shines through the glory I call my hair
He shines through my skirt that drags the pavement...

...And through my words, my smile, my love for you...

He shines through me.

I follow no man's rules.
I carry this cross because I follow Him.

Apostolic Woman, I am.
Picture